Earthbound
Reviewed by Rahshu Az-Mansur
In the days when games were beginning to get more graphics oriented and
less plot-based such as the Donkey Kong Country series, comes a game
that even advertisers said stinks! This is a game called EarthBound, which
is something you just have to see to believe! Built on the same reason that
people like to watch dumb movies, this little gem goes all out in giving you
the most bizarre ride of your life!
Graphics 3 out of 10
The only thing that saves this from getting a 2 out of 10 is the fact
that the psychadellic backgrounds in the fighting scenes rival that of
32-bit games. Using seemingly 8-bit graphics to produce a clearly
16-bit game, EarthBound screams that it doesn't need good graphics
to make the game. But it's sometimes the cheesy stuff that sells!
Music and Sound 8 out of 10
If you liked Hanson, you'll love the town theme to Onett! But that's not the
half of it! Each town has it's own theme... from the hanson sounding Onett,
to the calm tunes of Twoson, over to the scarry Threed music, going
over to the professional-sounding music of Fourside, there's everything
in here! The last guy plays a cool song that blows even the 64-bit tunes
away with it's incredible re-creation of the NES sound-system and it's
heavy-metal backbeat that rivals music from the N64!
Game Challenge 7 out of 10
The hardest part of the game is getting used to it. After about the first
place you go to, things should come quite naturally. But even then, you have
to be out on the lookout for all kinda of stuff ranging from the "Slimy l'il
pile," the "Aracknid", the "Even Slimier L'il pile," the "Cranky Lady," the
"ARACKNID!!!!!", the "Violent Roach," and the infamous "New-Age Retro Hippie"
among others who get into your way. Not the hardest game in the world, but
still not as easy as it sounds. It'll keep ya busy for quite a long while!
Game Play-Fun 9 out of 10
The bizarre off-beat humor's going to make you stick around for the
entire thing. Besides, it's the only game ever created that I've seen that
you can literally beat with one hand behind your back! All of the
major-needed controls are put over to the left side of the control
padusing the Left, select, and directional buttons as well as the others
on the right side. If that's not enough for you, you're always going to a new
place in the game, and not really ever having to back-track, so It'll always
be a new experience. It loses points for getting tedious going through the
final stage at the end of the game...
Frustration
Game lovers that favor polygon characters (such as Final Fantasy 7), and
nothing else, beware! You'll instantly reject this game due to it's total
lack of even 16-bit style graphics! Sure, it's notably 16-bit, but it's strong
effort to mimic the old 8-bit Nintendo will drive 32 and 64-bit gamers
up the wall.
Replayability 7 out of 10
You play this game once, and you've seen it all... It's not an "addicting" game,
but it still has a lot of replayability after letting it sit for a while. It's
almost as fun playing the second time because you can mess with all of the
names and stuff to do really cheesy things as you play (example: favorite
food: poison... "You look tired. Eat some poison and scoot up to bed!"
Game Value 9 out of 10
This is a must-get for all RPG-buffs. It's the game that dares to be
different! It's a rebel against the system! It defines the word "bizarre."
Whatever you see this game for, it's worth the money, if you're prepared
to be amazed at it's uniqueness!
Overall 10 out of 10
A game that is a true art-form Featuring everything that is weird and then
give you something else entirely to make things even more weird. The storyline
is extremely hillarious bordering in the slightly sadistic at times.
Example: One of the members of the resident Onett gang the Sharks says "Spit
Spit Spit, Saliva Spit Spit, You want some gum? Get your own, twit." while
another says "Don't get lippy or I'll kick your butt!" and then yet another will
go off at you and say "I actually enjoy lemonade and eating fresh vegetables,
but I guess that doesn't fit into my super-cool image." Where else can you
get to know Lier X. Agerate and a mysterious statue, or have the neighborhood
bully pull out all of the stops to just be a jerk? You can even buy a house with
a full ocean-view, and read-up on a story (complimentary of buying the house
I'm sure) about a man caught speeding and his excuse for speeding. Do all this
and more while beating that all-evil foe Giygas! And the real mystery of the
game: What does Giygas even look like?! You'll have a great time finding out!