Diddy Kong Racing
Reviewed by Ben Kowal
I would just take a moment to inform sensitive people who like this game,
please leave or you may cry. If that wasn't enough of a hint, my review for
this game is ALL negative. And if you disagree, E-mail me. I would like to
hear what you like about this game. It stinks and there is no way to make
this game better. Please, please E-mail me and tell me why this game always
gets good reviews.
Graphics 0 out of 100
The graphics were pretty bad. The only time you get a head on view and
actually see the dreaded little monkey's face, it looks awful, even for just
a drawing in a sketch pad. Most of the time, if you hit a wall, the camera
goes behind it, making it impossible to see. Walls are also made out of
squares the size of...well...let's just say they are so badly hid that you can
fit four ugly squares on your TV, any more makes the game slow. It's just junk.
Music and Sound 0 out of 100
The games music was pretty bad, but not nearly as bad as the FX. This game
was crap. I mean that whol-heartedly. I found myself turning the volume off
in about two minutes. The game could have been a lot better, but No. It had
to be like this, the people said. Baah! The game's music and sound were just
plain irritating.
Game Challenge 0 out of 100
The game was way too easy, if you could get it to work. Which you usually
couldn't, by the way. Here's the real deal. When Rare released Goldeneye 007,
they thought they'd be so popular that they could make money off anything.
And sadly, they were right.
Game Play-Fun 0 out of 100
The controls were so bad on this game that constantly I was checking to
see if my controller was plugged in. And fun? None of it. It seriously lacked
anything good. The solution : Don't, I repeat, DON'T buy this crappy game.
Rumble Pak 0 out of 100
I could have sworn that the rumble pack was not vibrating, but there was a
dump truck outside. Preferably, I thought that because the rumble pack rumbled
with no relation to the game, and it was all random.
Frustration
Frustrating? Frustrating because nobody except an internet friend shares
my point of view. If their is somebody else who agrees, than E-mail me.
Seriously, the game control was so bad that you were frustrated when you
found out you can't turn right...or left..... or break....or go....It's just common
sense not to buy this game.
Replayability 0 out of 100
Nothing. It offers no replay value. That is all I have to say.
Game Value 0 out of 100
Now listen carefully : DO NOT BUY THIS GAME!!!!! DO NOT BUY THIS GAME!!!!!
DO NOT BUY THIS GAME!!!!! Got that? It would make good spare parts if someone
will sell it for 30 cents...well, maybe only 25. Oh, well.
Crappiness 100 out of 1
As I've insisted, this game is crappy. Let me spell that for anyone who didn't
catch that. C-R-A-P-P-Y.
Overall -9 out of 100
Stinky, crummy, crappy, smelly, useless, terrible. I mean that with all my heart.
Actually, I wouldn't waste my heart on this game.