Reviewed by Emperor Palpatine
Well, the NES is probably the best system ever. Only those who,
for reasons beyond my understanding, sold there NES disagree.
Then again, that is merely my opinion, I could be wrong. However,
Even those with an all-consuming obsession with the system must
confess that even it made some very bad games. "Spelunker", from
Broderbund, is a perfect example of this.
Graphics: 7 out of 10
The only decent thing in this game is it's graphics. The character
you control is fairly well-done. Unfortunately, the bad guys are done
somewhat poorly. However, the rest of the game is done well. Fairly
good graphics overall. Of course the graphics aren't all that make a game....
Music and Sound: 3 out of 10
This game was obviously originally a computer game. That is the only
reason why the tunes are so badly done. It is also annoying to hear the
"Game Over" music, but that is probably just a psychological problem
for me. The only reason I gave the music a three is because it is not nonexistent
Game Challenge: 4 out of 10
For me, the challenge can make or break a game. This game is certainly
difficult, but it is not challenging. Death occurs phenomenally easy;
anything from taking a blow to even falling half an inch will kill you!
You should not have a time limit if you die so easily, but you do. Only
the most hardcore gamers will find this game challenging.
Game Play-Fun: 1 out of 10
Another bad thing in this game is that it is no fun. You'll be cursing it
too much to find any fun at all. Thanks to the terrible gameplay, it is
also very easy to miss ledges you're trying to jump to, thus causing
yourself to die. You are VERY easy to entertain if you find any fun in
Because just about anything can kill you, you'll probably be cursing
this game non-stop until the cows come home! You're a skilled player
if you last thirty seconds without dyeing, and the ghosts that periodically
appear will force you to use your your flaregun a lot. The problem is that
the timer speeds up every time you use that flaregun. And when the
"Game Over" screen shows up, the fact that you can't cancel it's music
will destroy your last bit of sanity.
Even if you miraculously manage to beat this game (assuming it
actually ends), you probably won't return to it. This is because it is
incredibly frustrating and is truly one of the worst, most truly
unenjoyable games in history. Why anyone would choose playing this
abdominal trash a second time is far beyond me.
If you purchased this piece of crap when it first came out for $40-$50,
you got screwed badly. As a matter of fact, if you purchased this game
recently for 4 bucks, you still got riped-off. . I would not pay one cent
for this game!
Overall: -3 out of 10
"Spelunker" is lacking of a single redeeming quality. I, who can almost
always find some way to like a movie, am instead disgusted. Broderbund
has made some excellent games in the past (the "Carmen Sandiego"
series springs to mind), but this time, they messed up. "Spelunker"
is not a game to just put down; it is to be hurled with great force.