Reviewed by Nightshadow
Panic Restaurant, the game where you play Cookie, the happy homo chef
that owns a fancy restaurant called the Eaten. One day, as you trot ever
so fruity-like to your restaurant, your partner, Ohdove, a somewhat evil
looking man with "proud-to-be-gay purple" colored skin, tells you that
the eaten is his! Well, Cookie must get his gay little restaurant back
in this gay game.
Graphics 6 out of 10
The graphics of this game resemble a cheesy mega man game. Colors come
only in one shade. The characters a big and goofy, as if this game was
created out of plush toys. Not to mention that backgrounds and foregrounds
are plain, with little or no detail. Even when the game came out, it
Music and Sound 4 out of 10
The music is very boring, repetitive, and obnoxious. The songs are short and
shrill, consisting of high notes like a castrated boys choir. Sound Effects
are just as bad. The sound effects are bad and sound like something else,
like a door opening sounding like a shotgun cocking. Not to mention they are
reused. Five different monsters in one level may make the same noise.
Game Challenge 5 out of 10
This game is probably geared at little kids, but its challenging jumps,
obscure platform placement, and the fact its impossible to get the advantage
over the enemy, would make this game way over the heads of seven year
olds. Its not a good idea for veterans, since there are wide gaps and cookie
has as much hops as a pole vaulter in the Olympics. This game isn't
challenging, its frustrating. The bosses are either embarrassingly
simple or unfair. Some could be beat with so little ease an unconscious
guy could do it. Other bosses just send wave after wave of enemies which
is just impossible even for pros.
Game Play-Fun 5 out of 10
The levels are redundant, it feels like you have played all the levels by
the time you are done with the first. Not to mention that each level seems
like a weak replica from any mega man game. Having you go all the way in
one direction, then down, the all the way in the opposite direction. You'll
need more than cocaine to keep you awake through these sleepers.
There was a lot. The jumps in each level were almost too big for cookie
to cross. Not to mention horrible enemy placements. In one level, the roof
is covered with spikes that if you touch you die. Well, simply being hit by
an enemy will launch you up into them. Other times, there are so many enemies
coming at you at once, that you cant kill them all, and you are screwed.
Bosses are just unfair, sending wave after wave after wave of dislikable
at you until you cant comprehend. Your main weapon is a dumb frying pan,
but you can get better ones.
Overall 3 out of 10
To conclude, Panic Restaurant is a failed attempt at making a Mega Man
rip-off. Its too challenging for little kids, and the graphics and sounds
are and insult to bigger kids. Simply put, Taito wasted the 25 cents it
paid to create the game.